Make Intentional Conversation: There’s More To A Person Than How They Make Money

So often we only identify those around us by what they do to make money. We’ve all asked the “normal” question, “So, where do you work?”. We’ll even phrase it differently by saying, “So, what do you do?”, but we mean the same thing.

What you do to make money is important, it is essential to your existence, but it should not be the first and only question we ask someone upon meeting them. It’s one of those easy small-talk things we say that just skims the surface of who we really are. I know these things and yet, somehow I too find myself asking that oh so familiar question and leaving it at that. It’s the easy way to make conversation. Passion evokes emotional responses therefore we stay inside our comfort zone as long as no one talks about things they are passionate about.

 Why not say “How do you spend your time?” or “What kind of things do you love doing?”  

As a stay at home wife and keeper of my home I have a hard time answering that “normal” question. I get really flat looks when I say, “I’m a stay-at-home wife.” I sometimes even get the question, “Oh, well, what do you do?” In our culture what I do is not the norm. I can’t answer that question in one sentence! Nearly everyone I know has a title. The normal answer to that question is I work at Walmart, I’m a lab technician, I’m a carpenter, I’m a realtor, I’m a truck driver, I’m a piano technician, I’m a receptionist, etc. If I said I’m a … and I told you what ‘I am’ based on what I “do” it would sound something like this: “I’m a broom pusher, a toilet scrubber, a happy face and a hug and kiss when my Husband gets home, a woodstove loader, a listening ear to my Husband, a garden weeder, a furniture duster, I hang three different coats of my Husbands up everyday, and I declutter closets…” and that would sound really silly! If you were to ask me “So, what do you find exciting and inspiring?”, I would be shocked into two seconds of silence and then you would still get an ear full because I would most certainly not be able to answer in only one sentence! It would blossom into a heartfelt conversation and we would leave with a much greater knowledge of who we really were. We would leave inspired and encouraged by one another’s passion even if our passions were on opposite sides of the spectrum.

So I challenge you…cut the small-talk and make intentional conversation.

Be inspirational and be inspired!

~Clair